why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
