cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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