her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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