3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
