i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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