You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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