You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
