i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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