ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
