I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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