he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
