we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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