Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
accomplished twins. life is a go
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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