At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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