If i come over, it means nothing
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Terrible idea I love it
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
