Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
