I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
