How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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