Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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