babies were throwing up all over the place
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
