Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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