So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
