Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You left your phone here
Wait...
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