I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
