U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
