There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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