tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
