So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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