i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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