you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
