i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
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Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
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She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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