I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We left an ass print on the piano.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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