apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize