I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
