Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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