When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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