Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
