Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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