I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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