We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
