the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
