I'm really into asian looking animals
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
