Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Randomize
