well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Panties = found
Randomize
