You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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