does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
