is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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