I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
i've created a new STD.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize