Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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