Soap is not a condiment
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
