pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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