to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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