So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
