that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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