There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
