In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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