his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
