Your dad touched me again.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
