Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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