you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
