Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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