come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize