Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
