READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
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